551 words

Who ordered fall to arrive so early? I hate to see pitch darkness outside my window as I wake up at 7.13am. Bob, my cute little bedside companion from Brookstone, lights up in blue and starts beeping a few minutes later. Dragging my feet into the bathroom, I spend exactly 26 minutes answering Nature's call, brushing my teeth (13 strokes in every corner), showering off (Wednesdays are good for tea-tree oil-based soap) and picking out an outfit to match my shoes for the day (Doc Marten Mondays and Cole Haan Tuesdays need to be followed by semi-casual Wednesdays to set the tone for Land's End Thursdays and Nike Fridays).

Jesudas calls out Lord Krishna's message to humanity through my music system as I saunter into the kitchen to fix myself breakfast. I'm tempted to pick cereal again but I think they taste best on Tuesdays. Sighing to myself , I know I'll end up fishing out 3 banana waffles from the freezer. Pop..Pop...Pop...they smell wonderful when toasted. I make spiral suns on them with maple syrup as I reach for a pair of Taj Mahal tea bags from the tea container.

And then it happens.

My arm twitches and my lips part in mild surprise as I find myself reaching for the coffee container instead. Gulping some spit which had risen up my throat, my eyes grow wide in disbelief. You can't be serious! Are you really preparing coffee today?

Shock takes over as Disbelief sputters on his knees. Are you out of your mind ? How can you let this happen? Have you even thought this through?

Meanwhile,Confusion has landed in my brain and assures Shock that she will now put a stop to this. Why today?What's wrong with tea?Who gave you this weird idea anyway?Isn't coffee supposed to be exclusively for Sunday?Should I call out to Panic?

My muscles and emotions are in complete turmoil now. Thankfully, I hear Order's gaunt voice echoing from the interior of my brain.

"Silence ! This is obviously a case of misjudgement. There's no reason to panic. Our boy has merely slipped. Happens to the best of us."

As Order turns around to retreat, a handsome devil's shadow looms across. His trident raised in the air, Impulse smites the old man and giggles in glee.

"Go on, have that cup of coffee!You know you've always wanted to! Isn't that fresh roast tantalising your senses now? Give in to its rich flavour. It's so wrong, it's bad...and that's why you'll feel so GOOD!"

Throwing caution to the winds, I add 2 teaspoons of Nescafe Instant to my cup of hot milk. I look away in shame as I replace the coffee jar next to the aluminium jar marked TEA. The letters hit me in the face and I close the cabinet quickly.

As I polish off my waffles, I distract myself with the latest issue of Details. In the back of my mind, an unsettling feeling gnaws diligently. I hurry off to work and settle down at my desk as Machan walks over from his cubicle.

"Good morning", he stretches into a chair as he pushes aside a box of Kleenex to rest his elbow on my desk.

"Don't worry!I'll put the box back in its place when I leave!", he exclaims hastily before I can open my mouth.

I need help.