Longest day

The minutes have never crawled more slowly and yet, I am utterly unprepared for what I am anxiously waiting for. Thoughts of him swim around in my mind like schools of fish nibbling every last piece of sanity that my heart can cling to. What really frightens me is that I do not have an answer myself to the question I wish to ask him.

Is this the start of something anew or are we burning a bridge? Damned if I knew.

Why is it that I can't dismiss hesitation and swing a blade swiftly?
Why is it that I worry more about the wounds I might inflict on him even as I bleed away myself?
Why is it that he's holding back when he knows I treat him perfectly?
Why is it I obsess over these whys when he's probably not even right for me?

Should this be an end to ten weeks of dreams, then let my hands not turn bloody with the stain of a selfish act.

Catharsis

The heart is a stupid fool.

Atleast mine sure is. I honestly wish I knew how to put it out of its misery.

You see, the silly thing never learns,does it? Is it so impossible to stop expecting things from the ones who matter a lot?

Yet, there seems to contain in it a staggering capacity to love. Problem is, there is just immense pain filling this right now and I wish I knew how to vent it out.

While we are wishing for impossible things, I also wish I could learn to love less.

Yes sir...the heart is a stupid fool.

Freefall

Could it be I feel you closer
With every word that draws us apart?
Do your kisses seem sweeter now
That they don't visit my lips so much
In sanity, I'd be on the path out
Nursing wounded heart in wake of tears
Alas, insanity that hosts me now
Crazed passion harboured within
Slippery slope it is, I know
Perhaps one you can't crawl out of
As you teeter on this edge
Holding tight lest you fall
Go ahead, I dare you, love
Let go for I am here
Catch you and carry you safe
Quell your fears should any arise
Isn't much I couldn't do for you
Save maybe love you less...