Darling girl

2.31 AM.

I step into my apartment after returning from CCs. The smell of moving boxes hangs in the air, positively repulsive. I wait for a familiar jingling sound from the kitchen but the place is dead silent.

I go into the bedroom to change into my sleep wear. No pair of eyes follow me. I settle on the couch and stretch my legs on the rug. No soft coat slips beneath my feet. No furry head nuzzles its way up to my hands. No warm tongue licks my fingers to welcome me home.

Santa's new reindeer

I look towards her spot in the kitchen. I see the bed I bought over a year ago at Ross, unsure if she was going to take to it. I see the paw print Christmas ornament we made in November last year. I see the green neoprene slipper which she loved to fetch from the water whenever we went to the beach on Sauvie Island. I see emptiness where what was once the warmth I enjoyed in my home.

Mita has now gone away to my friend, Angie's family. Her 2 young kids love her to death and the entire family is really enjoying having her with them. They visited last week so that I could keep Mita for a few days and say goodbye. However, I requested they take her back since the transitions would be too confusing for her while she is getting adjusted to a new home.

In her new home..

For an entire year, I tried very hard to fight this eventuality. I hoped it wouldn't come down to this. However, when it became certain that I'd have to leave my home of 6 years, I knew it made better sense for me to find a new home for her in Portland rather than make her suffer the ordeal of moving to two new places. As new homes go, I couldn't think of a better family than Angie's for a loving dog like Mita.

When she was going away, the family piled into their car first. Mita tried to jump in but the floor of the vehicle was too high for her. Her hind legs struggled to get a footing and I had to stop laughing to lift her up. As the car drove away,  she stared back at me through the window, unsure of what was going on but trusting that I'd never send her in harm's way.

It pained me very much to see her go away. I know I can visit her anytime. I might be seeing her this weekend or sometime next week just to drop off the rest of her stuff and spend some time at her new home. However, it is just as painful as giving up your own child to another family. That poor dog has no idea what is going on so I feel bad that she is just being her affectionate self with everyone, trusting that every home she visits is a loving home.

Among the many lessons she has taught me,  the most important one is her belief in the goodness of all humans- that no one is innately cruel, selfish, unkind or mean if she greets them with a happy smile and a wagging tail. I am glad she's never seen the likes of people I've met who could easily destroy the faith she has.

We only had about a year together but I couldn't have imagined this past year without her giving me company night or day. Our daily walks at Washington Park, our visits to Noah's Arf pet wash, our play times at the dog park at Wallace Park, our training sessions at Happy-Go-Lucky, our nights in winter when I'd watch a movie while she curled up on my lap, our nights in spring when she'd get startled by a bad dream and I'd have to comfort her back to sleep, our walks in the rain when she'd spot a squirrel and pull so hard I'd nearly fall in a puddle, our walks down NW 23rd avenue when she'd bark her head off if I left her alone for a few minutes - these are some of the best memories I will cherish as I move away from a wonderful companion.

Jamison Park in the Pearl district

What a dog can give you is something only dog-owners will really know. Not all of us are fortunate enough to experience that. But think of that one person who made a difference to your life, even if they were only around briefly. Don't ever forget what a lasting impression they left on you.

Those memories will return on nights like tonight when I sit in loneliness,  in silence broken only by the sound of the clock.